5 09, 2017

Awareness Creates Change

When you feel anxious, worried, scared, angry, etc. have you ever stopped to notice where in your physical body you feel something?  When your mind is blocked in a manner of speaking you can actually feel the “pinching off” of energy somewhere in your body.  Case in point, you hear a sound in your home when nobody else is home and you feel a tightness in your gut or a pounding of your heart.  Those are easy to recognize, but what about noticing when someone you don’t care for walks into the room?  Chances are if you are still enough you will notice somewhere in your body you are pinching off the energy flow of an area.  Now we could talk about this in terms of chakras, but that word alone will normally lose some of you.  No, I am not airy fairy in anyway, nor am I likely to break out into a rain dance anytime soon….so let’s just discuss this in terms of body parts and keep that flow open shall we?  When I am preparing to have a talk with someone who normally causes me stress I notice that I brace for it physically.  I clench my jaw to avoid displaying anger.  When I hear sad or upsetting news, I notice that I squeeze my sinuses almost in preparation for crying.  After the stressful situation passes, I am normally stuck with a headache and stiff neck from clenching my jaw, as if I was holding my tongue to keep from yelling.

Now, play with me a little on this one….What do you feel and where do you feel it?  Think about someone, someplace or something you have negative thoughts or emotions about.  Where in your body is that coming from?  (Don’t say your mind!)  Be still… listen quietly within for a moment and identify where and what you feel.  Is it a tightening?, a clenching? Is it caught in your throat?

Next question……What does this remind you of in your childhood?  Maybe your conscious thoughts are not allowing you to access this information.  Try writing it down instead.   This queasy feeling in my stomach reminds me of……………….

Once you start writing, the thoughts will flow and you can continue writing about the whys and the hows of the situation in your past.

The reason this exercise is so cathartic is that once you bring the subconscious into your awareness, it isn’t running the show anymore.

Be a witness to what your mind is doing.  Recognize when your subconscious programming is running the show.  Once you recognize this, you can change your thoughts to those which better serve you.  The more you can out these blindspots, the easier it is to manage your life.

When you are running your life from your past through subconscious programming, you expect a certain outcome.  You will get what you expect.  It works that way.  There’s no way around it.  Expect someone to behave badly and most times they will accommodate you.

At our alternative medicine Coeur d’Alene office and alternative medicine Tempe office, we offer Crossinology Brain Integration Technique to help remove those subconscious anchors you may be struggling with.

Call today

208-991-8300 Coeur ‘d’Alene Holistic Medicine

480-473-8773 Tempe, Arizona Holistic Medicine

11 09, 2015

Vulnerability……it’s not a four letter word!

A mentor of mine told me that the missing piece for me in my own personal development was vulnerability. As I listened to what she said, I couldn’t wrap my head around the concept.

Certainly I WAS vulnerable already……I go out in public a lot. I talk to people everyday. I walk alone at night…..That’s vulnerable right? heck, I’m married, I’m a parent! yeah……I’ve got this vulnerability thing covered! She very politely listened to my rationalizing and justifying. I realize now that she was probably smiling and rolling her eyes at this point. At least she didn’t laugh out loud.

She explained that I had one last block in my flow that I needed to let go of in order to fulfill my life’s purpose. She implored me to ponder it and then practice being vulnerable and showing up fully by asking questions that I didn’t already know the answer to. yikes! That was NOT something I could even conceive of doing.

She told me to practice just putting myself out there honestly by asking for what I wanted and relinquishing any attachment to the outcome…….In other words risk hearing the word “no”, risk getting my feelings hurt and risk failing? again yikes! not something I really wanted to practice.

Suddenly I had visions of walking around exposed and naked. The story of the Emperor’s clothes came to mind and I cringed. Asking me to forget a lifetime of hurt and shed all of that protection I had spent years knitting around myself? I was wearing garments for protection that were constructed from scars that formed over past hurts. It was a lot of work creating all that protection and now she was telling me that in order to get what I wanted I had to show up without my protection?……..ugh!

I know better than to ignore sound advice, but like the cobbler who doesn’t take the time to make shoes for himself, us practitioners in the healing field often forget to attend to our own needs.

As always happens, someone out in the world recently showed up in my life for the distinct purpose of reflecting back an area of my life that I need to grow in….. There’s that conversation replaying in my head between my mentor and I about showing up fully and embracing vulnerability…..actually leaning into the discomfort of it.

In my practice I talk about letting go in order to receive. I advise people everyday to look around themselves to see what is showing up because other people are a reflection of what is inside ourselves. People come into our lives like big mirrors to teach us insight whether they realize it or not.

You know that moment when the steam clears and you see yourself clearly in the mirror? Tonight my reflection spoke that V word in conversation as if it was a compromised condition; a weakened state and I saw that suit of scars reflecting back at me, keeping me bound and from living life in the flow. The block in my flow system was that darn self protection I was STILL wearing! It really wasn’t a pretty to see. I looked away….

Again, people come into our lives to show us things……

Life has presented challenges lately and I’ve been retreating a little at times to lick my wounds. Before I went to sleep tonight I asked God to dissolve any blocks in my flow that were still present and to show me clearly what they were. God is a prankster at times and tonight I was awakened at midnight with a feeling of joy realizing that block I had around vulnerability just dissolved. Yeah….my aha moment came at midnight.

I woke up happy that I had felt hurt because it meant that I had been fully present and vulnerable. I’m okay with that.

Now I ask you…..Are you showing up fully in your life? If not, what is blocking that process for you?

9 06, 2015

“Are you stupid or something?”

There was one little girl who would cry herself to sleep every night as thoughts of dread filled her mind about going to school in the morning.  School was so very hard for her with its noisy classrooms full of the talking moving kids. The boy next to her would tap his foot, the girl in front would twirl her hair, and the boy behind would tap his pencil and sniffle.

During quiet work time the teacher would erase the blackboard and open and close her desk drawers while chatting students would walk down the hallway drawing her interest through the open classroom door. When the radiator would turn on it made a particular noise and even the tick of the clock on the wall would beg her minds notice.

All these distractions would disrupt her focus and grab her attention away from the school work that was before her.

She would really try her very best to concentrate but she just struggled to stay focused on a single task. Her little mind was always going and so when the teacher would call on her to answer a question or contribute to the classroom discussion she would get all flushed, nervous and confused in what to say. The teacher would blurt out “Try harder! You’re not trying hard enough!!!”.

She would hear her classmates snicker and say things like “That is so easy. Are you stupid or something?”

It wasn’t all that unusual for the whole class to break out in laughter as she stumbled for words to satisfy the teacher so she could then sit back down and have the spotlight pulled off of her.

Inside her young heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest and she just wanted to run home to her bedroom, hide her face in her pillow and cry. Those moments, which felt like eons, seemed to always end with the teacher scolding her to just sit down and start paying attention.  To her sorrow and disappointment there was no running away from the problem that resided inside her head and plagued her.

In today’s classroom, this little girl would have probably been labeled with Attention Deficit Disorder, but not back then. To her sorrow and the disappointment of her parents there was no running away from the problem that resided inside her head and plagued her.

How did this little girl get like this? What happened to her? Some say it was because she was emotionally traumatized very early on in her life, being spared abortion, by God’s grace, through the Salvation Army that convinced her young teenage mother to complete the pregnancy and to give her baby up for adoption. Others say, No! a baby has no ability to be affected by emotional turbulence and hurtful words while growing inside of her mother’s womb so it must be the traumatic experience of the several foster homes she was moved in and out of early on in her infancy and childhood. One said perhaps she sustained an injury to her head while others suspect she could have been exposed to something environmental.

To this little girl, it really didn’t matter why because at this point she already had the programming in her head of being unlovable and unworthy. Even after her parents adopted her, the message that she kept subconsciously playing in her little mind over and over was, “You’re not good enough to keep, not good enough to fit in and not good enough to be friends with.”

Whether trauma is due to emotional, physical or environmental factors, the human brain can develop neurological dysfunctions which affect a person’s ability to manage stress, process information, or effectively navigate through life situations in a healthy way. In fact, in my experience as a Brain Integration Practitioner, this trauma usually starts in childhood.

Something happens that the child registers as traumatic, as in the case with our little girl, and the child does not have the computing capacity in their brain to make sense of it. They just know it hurts, so the brain goes into ‘protect mode’ and shuts down that hurt area of the brain in order to stop the hurting. The brain signal gets cut off and the blood flow gets reduced to that region. Problem is, the brain is very young and still developing and these areas seldom get turned back on because work-around routes have started developing around the now closed areas. These work-around routes soon become the main routes for brain function but they are never as efficient as the organic primary routes. Unfortunately, those protected/blocked off areas will remain closed and undeveloped through adulthood unless they are reopened and restored.

Brain Integration can restore those blocked areas of the brain!

Research shows that up to half of those with learning disabilities go undiagnosed. When undiagnosed, the embarrassment, self-doubt, pressure and social stigma a child experiences can lead to more than academic difficulties. Learning disabled students may also develop self-esteem, emotional, and social problems. Many will give up the struggle — in fact, the dropout rate for children with learning disorders is nearly 40 percent.

How much longer can you bear watching your child struggle, feeling helpless to relieve their internal suffering all the while enduring the affects it is having on the entire family? What about you? What messages have been playing inside of your head over and over that has kept you prisoner from your full potential and a life of joy? Like with our little girl, she didn’t know consciously what the root of her hurt was, she just knew how painful every day was to get through. Her parents anguished over her struggles but felt helpless to fix it while well-wishers told them, “She is just a little girl and she will grow out of it and be normal like other kids someday.” Really? Really? I’ll save that for next time.

Until then…… Schedule your appointment today for a Bio-Energetic Assessment to learn how Brain Integration can help you, your child or your loved one. I can help. It’s drug-free. There is hope! Really!!

 

14 11, 2013

Do you want real intimacy? Do you know what that looks like?

holding handsWhether we are discussing a relationship between partners or a relationship between mother and daughter or father and son, we are discussing intimacy.  Do you know what it feels like to allow another person to get close to you or to allow someone to know the real you?  In order to create intimate relationships with others, we first have to look at the relationship we have with ourselves.  At the Center for Integrative Healing, we like to compare the relationship between people to the relationship that exists between the mind and the body.  In the mind body scenario, it is easy to understand how channels of communication must be open and flowing between both sides in order to be healthy.  This analogy is true whether we’re referring to channels of communication between both sides of the brain, the mind and the body, or communication between people.  All healthy relationships depend on open communication and cooperation.  All “parts” must integrate/work together to operate as one.  Whether we’re talking about a relationship between mind and body or between ourselves and others, we firmly understand that all good relationships begin with what we call the ABC’s of Wellness:

Awareness, Balance and Connection.

As individuals, we communicate with the outside world through filters; each one unique to us.  We perceive our world and we perceive other people through filters that we have built from our past experiences.  We continually evaluate, compare and contrast our present situations with our past experiences.  No doubt you’ve probably heard the phrase “Perception is reality” before.  But is it?  Isn’t it more accurate to say “Your perception creates Your reality?”  Did you know that you color your perception and your reality?  Every one of us creates our own truth based on our version of reality and that reality is different for everyone.

·       What if our filters could be removed? 

·       What if we could see every situation and every person objectively without adding our perceptions to them?

·       Could our realities change?

·       Could we empathize more with others? 

·       Could we be more understanding of differences?

If we could remove our filters we could begin to change the way we perceive everything and everyone in our world.  If “You don’t know what you don’t know” how can you know?  We believe the first step to change is Awareness.  Having self-awareness empowers us as individuals to change.  Having Awareness of others empowers us to empathize and to accept people for who they are. 

At the Center for Integrative Healing, we believe that all healthy relationships in the universe depend upon Balance.  Just visualize for a moment a child’s see saw.  In order to maintain Balance, both sides need to be equally weighted or someone falls off and gets hurt.  We could be discussing any relationship here and that reality would remain true.  In our own lives, we must maintain balance in order to be healthy.  Anytime one thing outweighs another, we have created imbalance.  If we work all the time and don’t eat, hydrate, nor rest we will eventually collapse from exhaustion.  The same is true for relationships between people that are in a state of imbalance.  If one person talks continually and doesn’t listen, the flow of communication will eventually cease.  Either that will person will stop talking or the other one will stop listening.  Either way, the communication flow will stop and the Connection between them will break. It is a universal truth that imbalance creates disharmony.  Consider the emotional center of the brain and its relationship with the thinking center of the brain.  If one center of our brain had continual control, how Balanced would we be?  We would either be feeling our way through life, void of logic or we would be wandering through it without feeling or having any sense of wellbeing.  We believe that harmony can only exist when Balance exists. 

Lastly, we believe in importance of Connection when we are discussing relationships.  But how can we connect with each other if we are disconnected from our true selves?  The answer is we can’t.  We can only project outward what we have within us.  In the analogy between the mind and the body, we can see how the two must maintain a continuous connection to be healthy.  During a stroke, for example, the signal between mind and body is interrupted and the body function is impaired.  When a Connection between two people is interrupted by emotional blocks within one or both of the individuals, the communication is impaired and thus so is the relationship.  We work with each individual to help them become fully connected with their inner being in order to help them learn to connect with others. 

In our practice, we know from our collective experiences that Awareness, Balance, and Connection must all happen first within ourselves before they can happen in our relationships with others.   Consider for a moment that one of us was falling down and the other tried to help, without being balanced first.  We would both fall down!  The same is true of a rescue worker extending a rope down to an individual who had fallen off of a cliff.   Wouldn’t it make sense to be Balanced and Aware of his own situation before he could be in a position to extend a Connection to assist the fallen individual?  Without being firmly secured where he is, any rescue attempt would be futile as he would not be able to maintain his Balance and would go toppling over the edge.  No matter what relationship we are talking about right now, the same truth exists. 

When we work with couples, we work together with our clients to bring Awareness, Balance, and then Connection to the relationship by creating it first within each individual.  We know that it takes two healthy people integrated together to make a healthy relationship.  We work together with our clients to help them grow as individuals and to grow in their relationships with others.  We strongly believe that change can and does happen when our clients are invested in their own growth and healing.  Healing comes from Wellness and a well-integrated mind and body work that together in perfect harmony.  Until one becomes thoroughly integrated within themselves, the true process of connection has yet to begin. 

 

23 04, 2013

Is Your Record Skipping?

Is Your Record Skipping?As I reflect back on my life, I realize that I used to think of myself as a victim of my circumstances and wonder why I kept having unfulfilling relationships.  People weren’t there for me when I really needed them to be and I kept looking for the WELCOME sign that I just knew was stuck somewhere on my back.  I was certain of this, because it seemed like everybody walked all over me!  Sound familiar to anyone reading this?  It wasn’t until I understood that I was simply repeating experiences over and over because I had etched them into my mind, that I was able to break from my patterns.  Mind over matter right?  WRONG!  Matter over mind!  Or more precisely matter impressed on my mind (my brain).

Neuroplasticity at work!

Thanks to something called Neuroplasticity, my brain learned from my past experiences, thereby building a reference for my future.  You see the brain is a bit of a lazy learner.  Once it has learned something, it compares every new experience to the past one it stored.  If the new situation resembles the past experience in any manner, the brain responds in kind with a preconditioned response.  It knows how this scenario played out last time, so it takes the same route!  But why is the result the same situation after situation?  Well………..

Your brain only knows what it already learned! Unless your new experience ends differently, it will continue to conclude that there is no other option available.  Why is that????

Well you see…… your brain waves emit a frequency from your brain into the environment which always search for a frequency match.  If you already have a reference for being abused, for example, your brain will actively hunt for a frequency match out in the universe.  You literally attract what you project out.  Now of course I don’t mean that you consciously are looking for somebody to treat you poorly, but it is the station that you are tuned into.  You can change your brain frequency with Brain Integration Technique.  I did and I only wish I had discovered this cutting edge treatment earlier in my life.  You can make an appointment to change your life!

Call me today 480-473-8773 or email me to schedule a free 15 minute consultation!